


Unerring Complexities of the Human Psyche

by azure_horizon



Category: Stargate: Atlantis
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-25
Updated: 2011-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-15 02:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azure_horizon/pseuds/azure_horizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stranded off-world with an injured Evan Lorne, Teyla's not entirely sure which version of her life is real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> **Title** : The Unerring Complexities of the Human Psyche: Survival  
>  **Written For** : Tielan  
>  **Author** : azure_horizon / gater101  
>  **Rating** : PG-13  
>  **Warnings/Spoilers** : The occasional swear word.

**Season** : Three  
 **Prompt** : Teyla/Lorne "an offhand comment taken seriously by the others, action/drama, season four or later."

 **Word Count** : ~12,150  
 **Author's Notes** : Apologies, Tielan, for the lack of season 4. As with the other story, I just couldn't do it. The Kanaan issue just wouldn't let me. I hope you like it, regardless. Apologies, also, for the length – it kind of got away from me. I hope you like it – you _did_ once upon a blue moon say you would like to read something longer from me.

 **Thanks:** Thank you to all of my alphas and betas. Jess, for your continual encouragement and prods in the right direction, to Cazz for the general idea, to Paulie for his hard-line attitude when telling me if the story sucked and to Rhonna, my nit-picker who just wouldn't let me go with some of sentences I'd come up with. Thanks very much.

 **Part One**

"Teyla?"

She looked up from her inventory of their packs and looked to Major Lorne as he lay with his back propped up against the trunk of the tree, his face pale in grey light. A smattering of rain fell on their heads and stuck their clothes to their skin. The thick mud underfoot clung to their boots and trousers and anything else unfortunate enough to come into contact with it. Tree sap stuck to Teyla's hair from where she had brushed against weeping leaves and she had learned it did no good to try and wipe it free.

"Yes, Major?" She said as she turned her attention to him, lifting the small first aid kit from her pack and brought it to his side. The wound on his abdomen was deep and bloody and she feared infection; the first aid kit was little use against such wounds and she had yet to find any of the leaves and herbs she had learned to use on Athos.

"What time is it?"

She glanced to her wrist where her watch was but the screen was shattered and it had long since stopped recording time. She looked to the sky but the absence of the sun and the fact that she and Lorne had been unconscious for an indeterminate time made it difficult for her to estimate.

"I do not know." She shuffled to his side and lifted his vest and jacket away from his body, wincing as he hissed as the fabric stuck to his wound. "Sorry," she murmured as she glanced up to his tight features and winced.

"S'okay," he gritted out, his eyes screwed tight as pain washed over him. "What's the damage?" He asked through clench teeth and Teyla looked up to his face, meeting his eyes for a moment. "That bad, huh?"

She looked away again and searched through the small kit for something to use; iodine wipes, gauze and two ibuprofen stared up at her and she glared back down at it. Nothing that would do any good. The flesh wound looked septic, the obviously broken ribs painful.

"I am no medical doctor and even if I was, this kit would be of extremely limited use."

Lorne grunted out a laugh and Teyla was internally proud of him. She smiled up at him and touched her fingers to his forehead, noting with disdain his elevated temperature. She sighed as she withdrew her hands and looked about the forest around her.

In the gloom, she could see little and not very far. Vague outlines of trees met her vision, the undergrowth shifting with wildlife and wind and she knew that even if she tried, she would find nothing without the use of torchlight.

And her head hurt. A lot. She had tried to hide it from the Major but the dull ache had intensified in the last hour and had taken over; speckles of light danced across her eyelids when she closed her eyes and blood rushed through her ears and pounded against her temples.

"I am going to have to remove your jacket so I can clean your wound," she said as she focussed her wandering attention back on the man in front of her. Lorne nodded and grimaced as he lifted his body and tried to shimmy out of his jacket. When a whimper of pain escaped his lips Teyla pressed a hand to his shoulder and eased him gently back down. "I can cut around the wound," she said as she pulled the scissors from the first aid kit; they were small and her fingers barely fit through the grips but they would need to do.

"Okay," he murmured, his body sagging back onto the log behind him in exhaustion.

She looked over him worriedly; even in the dim light she could see his grey pallor, the light sheen of sweat on his forehead, the way his eyes drooped.

Carefully, she slid the scissors under the material and winced with him as the cool metal grazed his inflamed skin. Her hands shook slightly as she tried to work but she pushed it aside; her own pain was less than his and she would deal with it later. As she peeled the square piece of cloth away and asked Lorne to hold back his jacket she focused her attention on cleaning his wound and not on the sounds of pain that escaped his throat.

"How are your sister's children?" She asked as she swiped at the bloody, seeping wound with the iodine wipe, knowing it would be insufficient against infection.

"They're good," he managed, his voice tight as he watched her work, his eyes glazed over with pain. "Spent some time with them when I returned to Earth," he said after a moment and Teyla looked up to him, smiling encouragingly. "Do you miss your people?"

Teyla looked up, surprised by the question. It seemed that many in Atlantis forgot that, while she was not 'one of them', she was the leader of a people; that she had a life outside of the one she had made for herself in Atlantis. Many asked about her people, though she was sure that those who did were asking for reasons not wholly unrelated to their field of study. Her team members asked – John often ferried her to the mainland – but she was sure that their inquiries were a courtesy, rather than an interest.

"I do." She lifted her flask and poured a small amount of water of the wipe, cleaning away some of the excess blood. "But my people are only a short Puddle Jumper ride away," she said trying to keep her tone light despite the sudden sharp pain at the back of her eyes. "It takes you many days to get to yours."

Lorne attempted to shrug but he froze midway and his face crumpled in pain. Teyla stilled her hand and pressed her palm against his neck, hoping to ease some of his pain. His laboured breathing became more strained and she reached up with her other hand to help ease his body down. When he coughed, his lips became stained with a dark red liquid and Teyla sat back, the fear forcing her hands to drop from his body.

"Shit..." Lorne managed through broken sobs, his hand lifting shakily to swipe at his mouth, smearing the thick blood across his chin. "Hurts..." he said at length as his eyes rolled and Teyla slapped his face gently to keep him awake.

"You must stay awake, Evan," she said loudly, leaning over him despite the pain in her own side, despite the wave of dizziness that hit her as she moved. "Evan," she called again, clapping his cheek with her palm, noting with disdain that his body had slumped and his eyes remained stubbornly closed.

As Teyla awoke, the tawny dawn greeted her with its eerie silence. The rain had ceased its torrential patter against the foliage above, the small rivers of water running across the ground had dried to a gentle trickle and Teyla shivered as her own breath echoed around her ears. Sitting up, she shook off the sleep from her foggy mind, noting that her headache had not lessened in the few hours' sleep she'd managed.

"You're awake," Lorne said hoarsely, his breath coming in raspy gasps and Teyla leaned towards him, her back popping as she did so. "I would ask how you're doing but I'm worried you might say you're feeling as bad as you look."

She quirked a half smile in his direction as she pushed herself up from her slouched position, noting how her knees quivered under her own weight.

"I am well."

At the mouth of the small conclave she'd found she looked out over the dawn. Brown clouds hung low on the sky over mossy green ground, the dim light catching the rushing water on the bleak mountains on the not too far horizon. She could smell the pungent smell of scorched earth and something else she did not wish to name. There were no sounds; no small stirring in the undergrowth; no slight wafts of wind and Teyla felt a shiver tickle up her spine.

"You fell asleep." She nodded knowing it would do no good to lie. She had; he had seen her with his own eyes. She heard him sigh and she was thankful that he sounded stronger than he had the night before. When the rain had started, she'd been forced to concede that they would have to find shelter and when she had, she'd had to half drag Major Lorne behind her. "You should take something for the pain," he said quietly and Teyla turned to him, quickly dismissing the sight before her.

"The medical kit was washed away with your pack, Major," she said quietly as she moved to kneel beside him, wincing tightly as pain seared through her side and knees. "I only had a first aid kit in mine," she said and looked up to him, meeting his tired eyes with her own, her gaze laden with meaning.

Lorne shifted, groaning in pain as he pulled at his wound, gripping onto Teyla's fingers as she offered her arm to help him sit.

"I've experienced worse," he muttered in response to Teyla's unasked question. Concerned, Teyla watched as he gulped down air as his face lost what little colour it had. "I'm okay," he said at length, his cheeks flushing with colour at the exertion and Teyla sat back, knowing that man's pride could only take so much coddling. "So, what's our situation?"

Teyla leaned back and grabbed onto the sodden pack she'd somehow managed to keep a hold of as they'd been tossed around in the river. She'd taken an inventory the night before but she knew that Lorne would want to see for himself. She held up the meagre supplies, even those that had been ruined by the water.

"My radio was cracked and water leaked in," she said as she arranged the supplies in front of him, noting how his fingers shook as he skimmed them over the items. "I could not find yours on you," she said. "The spare one was with Rodney and yours, I am guessing, was in your pack." Lorne nodded, grimacing though Teyla was unsure whether it was in pain or annoyance. "We have three MRE's, some snack bars though I do not know in what condition they will be," she said glibly as she held one of the silver foil packets up, showing Lorne the water that trickled from within it. They shared a small laugh at that and turned back to the supplies. "I have two magazines in my vest pocket, my side arm but I cannot seem to un-jam your P-90," she continued, rattling off what she had discovered the night before while Lorne had lain unconscious and unresponsive. "I have a spare tee shirt in my bag," she said and she let her eyes drift over his torso. "Though I do not believe it would fit you."

Lorne quirked an eyebrow in response, lifting his lips at the corner slightly and Teyla felt relief wash through her.

"I'm sure it wouldn't," he said lightly, his eyes sparkling for a moment as they perused Teyla's figure and Teyla felt a slightly heat tinge her cheeks. It had been many months since someone had looked at her in that way; inquisitive, flirting, roguish and she found that she had missed it. She could see him visibly shake the thoughts from his head and she looked away before his eyes met hers. "How long do you think it will be until the others find us?"

Teyla looked out of the cave mouth, squinting her eyes as she stared into the distance. The ache in her head had increased since waking and her vision was faltering because of it. She scoured the planes for movement, sought out the Stargate amongst the thick blanket of the forest but nothing met her eye except the expanse of empty space. For a moment she felt destitute, isolated and she felt a pang of fear ride through her.

She turned back to Major Lorne but didn't meet his eyes as she stuffed items back into the pack.

"I do not know; the river could have carried us miles from the Stargate, or it could have deposited us nearer than I think." She fought the urge to shrug. "I did not want to leave you to check out the perimeter while you were asleep."

"Hey!" Lorne replied indignantly as he pointed at her, though the sound was feeble even to her own ears and she knew that he knew it. "I wasn't the only one who was asleep," he said quietly, his tone teasing, voice strained. He grimaced in pain and Teyla laid a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer comfort in a situation where she was sure none could be found. "I may have overdone it with the finger pointing."

Though his words were light, Teyla could hear the pain laced through them. It stung her to acknowledge that, for the moment, there was nothing she could do for him.

"You should not move." She urged him back down after folding up her vest for him to rest his head on. His cheeks had lost their colour once more and his breathing rattled loudly around the small cave, standing the hairs on Teyla's neck on end. She held the canteen to his lips and he sipped from it, coughing some of it back up, the water tinged red. She grimaced, feeling her heart rate increase at the sight of the diluted blood. "I think you have punctured a lung."

Lorne coughed again, his face unrecognisable as his body curled up to protect itself from the pain. She felt helpless and redundant, sitting idly by while the pain contorted his body and face. Long minutes passed, his coughs replaced by sounds of unbearable pain and Teyla felt tears well at the back of her eyes; her own pain had intensified as she had watched him writhing in pain, as she'd been unable to help him and she knew that with the meagre supplies they had there was little more she could do than offer him her hand in support.

"I think..." he started, his voice a meagre rasp of sound that punctured the air. "I think I'd like to see Beckett right about now."

Teyla nodded, unable to speak and she reached out to stroke sweaty hairs away from his forehead. When her fingers touched his skin she almost pulled away from the burning heat that scorched her skin.

"You are running a fever," she said quietly to herself, holding her damp palm against his forehead. She could see his eyes drooping closed but she clapped him on the cheek, rousing him from his half slumber. "You must stay awake, Evan." He nodded but as he did, his eyelids started to close and she knew that she had lost him again.

When she opened her eyes, the dark warmth greeted her kindly and she sighed. Sinking back into the pillows she let her head rest for long moments, allowing the familiar scents of home permeate her nose; warm spice, tea, the earthy scent of waxy candles. She licked her lips and she could taste the after tastes of mulled wine and _tava_ ointment.

Conscious thought was slow to return and she revelled in the sensation of being without burden. It was something she had not felt for some time and she cherished it, stored the memory away for later, when she returned to Atlantis, returned to duty.

"You are awake at last, I see," a familiar voice said from the other side of the room and she opened her eyes and turned towards the voice. Kanaan stood just inside the doorway, the morning sun shining at his back and she smiled warmly at him.

"Kanaan," she said quietly, letting her relaxed mood carry to him. It had been too long since she had last spent time on New Athos with her people and to wake up in her own bed, with familiar warmth and care around her was refreshing. Kanaan stepped into the room, his own smile in place. "Are you well?"

He nodded as he settled on the side of her bed, his fingers finding their way into her hair for a moment before he withdrew his touch. It was something she had grown familiar with in Kanaan – a trait he shared with John Sheppard –; quiet moments of affection stunted at the final point before he withdrew.

"I am better for knowing you are well," he said quietly, his voice laden with relief. "Your fever was very high during the night."

Teyla stilled, her gaze fixed on a point on the wall of her tent beyond Kanaan but she did not see the wall; instead, she saw Major Lorne's face contorted with pain, doubled over as he cried out against the onslaught of agony. The sound pierced her good mood and she felt her heart deflate somewhat.

"Is Major Lorne well?" She asked as she tried to sit up, her arms shaking beneath her. She watched as Kanaan frowned slightly, his eyes clouding with confusion. "Kanaan?"

He tilted his head to the side, his eyes skimming her features before looking away.

"You were calling for him during the night," he said lowly and Teyla could hear the underlying question in his tone but she did not answer it. He watched her curiously for a moment but seemed the shake off whatever he had been going to say. "When we found you there was no one else with you."

Teyla sat up further, wincing at the pain in her head that suddenly flared up and she gripped onto the sides of her head, burying her face in her knees. Kanaan's hand on her back was warm and comforting and she leaned into him slightly.

"He is up in the hills in a small conclave." She sat up and rubbed at her temples, squinting through her tired eyes to the chest at the foot of her bed. She turned to Kanaan when he didn't speak and found him looking down at her, his brow furrowed. "He is injured, he cannot walk."

Kanaan moved away from her and stood at the side of the bed, his back turned to her and when Teyla looked beyond him, she could see through the half open flap of the tent, could see people milling around talking amongst themselves. She recognised few.

"It was a hunting party that found you – they searched for others but none were found." He turned to her and she met his eyes that had once been warm and familiar – now they were cool and reserved. She felt her chest constrict slightly at the thought that her people had left Lorne out there to die. And she knew he would if he did not receive medical treatment. "You were alone."

"I will take a party out to him – he will not survive in this."

She made to stand up but his hands on her shoulder pressed her back into the bed. She resisted but it was futile; his strength was too much for her weakened body and she relented, though momentarily and he withdrew his touch from her.

"You must rest. I will lead a party to search for him."

He made to walk away but halted when Teyla reached out and gripped onto his wrist. He turned to her with a frown and Teyla bit her lip, her eyes falling from his so he would not see the depth of her concern.

"Do not return without him."

Kanaan nodded, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he regarded her. She lifted her eyes to him and she saw him lick his lips and turn away. She held his wrist for a moment longer before letting her hand fall listlessly to her side on the bed.

As the flap slid over with a gentle thrump, Teyla turned onto her side and prayed to the Ancestors for Evan Lorne's safety.

The camp was bustling with activity when she eventually made it out of her bed and into the makeshift streets. Stalls lined the walkways in the centre of the camp, selling handmade goods and home grown foods. Many of the people were strangers to Teyla, though she recognised some Athosians and other friends as she meandered. She wondered when her people had begun to trade with new partners.

At that thought, she felt a sting. For so long, Atlantis had been her main priority and she lamented that unconscious decision as she walked among the stalls on shaky legs, nodding and smiling and greeting those around her.

Her dreams had been tormented whispers, broken images of a fading friend. Her team, scattered and broken like the pieces of a broken bowl. The radio in her pocket crackling with life as Lorne asked her to return to him. Kanaan, hovering over her bedside as he whispered to another beyond her sight.

Feverish, frightening, forgotten.

With her waking hours, she asked after the group that had set out to find Lorne but the replies she received were not promising – many wondered at what group she was referring. Her search of the camp turned up neither Kanaan nor Halling and she wondered how long they'd been gone for. She checked the watch on her wrist and found it still broken, the digits frozen at 12:47. The overcast, swollen sky offered little clue as to the hour and she felt her trepidation rise.

It had been morning when they had left and as she stood in the deepening dusk, eyes trained on the tree line, she knew that they were not coming back. That Lorne was trapped and alone, injured, near death, still wet, wondering if her t-shirt would fit him.

She could feel adrenaline pumping through her veins at that thought – could she remember the way? Her headache and blurred vision had marred her viewing of discernible landmarks and she was unsure of how far the others had brought her upon rescue. How far had she gotten from Lorne? She could barely remember leaving the cave.

Fight or flight, Jennifer Keller had told her, was a natural human response to the onslaught of adrenaline.

Teyla knew it well. Knew the thrill of fear, the suspense of the almost instantaneous choice, of surprise regardless of the decision as her body reacted and as she cast one furtive glance over her shoulder to the camp as she rushed through the trees, Teyla felt it all over again.

"I was beginning to think you were never going to come back."

Exhausted and soaked, Teyla half-collapsed onto the ground beside Lorne, her fingers digging into his arms as she fought for breath. Her lungs burned with exertion and her heart pummelled blood - too much blood - through her too thin veins. She noticed his eyes flick past her, searching for something beyond her but she didn't question – couldn't find the breath to.

"You're alone?" He asked and she could hear the unbridled disappointment in his tone.

Smiling tightly, she looked up at him, meeting his exhausted eyes and quirked a smile.

"Is my company not enough for you?"

He returned the smile but his face contorted slightly at the movement and Teyla instantly reached out to touch his cheek, his forehead, checking his temperature. It was far too high but outside was far too wet and dirty and cold.

"Enjoyable though it is," he said and she felt his fingers brush over hers as they rested on his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat, "I really wouldn't have minded seeing the rescue team tagging along behind you."

She let out a small laugh at that and ducked her head, fiddling with his torn jacket and shirt and the tactical vest he'd used as a meagre cover. Checking his wound revealed what she had thought; it still bled and looked angry and swollen. It was definitely infected, despite her best efforts to clean it the night before. She reached for the canteen of water and the gauze she had been using as a wipe and found the canteen empty. She looked to Lorne's innocent face and felt guilt clench her stomach.

"How long have you been without water?"

He winced as he shifted under her scrutinising gaze, his eyes not meeting hers.

"A few hours."

She felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach. Her one charge had been to protect him, to help him survive and she had left him without ample water or food and sent out a search team when she should have come herself. Scolding herself, she stood and moved to the mouth of the cave, looking out at the brackish rivers of water that rushed through the forest floor below her.

Making a decision, she stepped back out into the rain, ignoring his calls of complaint. She paused for a moment in the rain, watching him as he tried to sit up, feeling that pang she had thought long redundant and smiled.

"And I will have you know – as Rodney is ample enough a science team, I am ample enough a rescue team."

She enjoyed the sound of his quick, easy laugh and watched him watch her for a moment before she pivoted on her heel and picked her way carefully down the hillside.

"Just make sure you come back and rescue me this time!" Evan called after her and she couldn't help but smile.

When she returned, Lorne was unconscious at the mouth of the cave. Beside him, the small steel cup rested, half full with rain water. Guilt panged in her chest as she moved to him, feeling his sodden shirt and trousers. The rain hadn't eased since she had left and she had slipped and slid all the way across the muddy ground and mossy rocks. She tugged him back into the small cave, quickly assessing the mess he'd made and shook her head; his jacket was lying flat against the ground, almost dry and Teyla felt a small smile tug at her lips.

She dumped the pack she had found washed up on the riverside at the back of the cave and tried to rouse Lorne. When he grumbled and moaned but did not waken, Teyla gripped him under his arms and dragged him back into the cave. They both moaned in pain – he at the motion, she at his weight pulling on her aching side and back. Her head throbbed loudly, the blood pounding through her veins and she felt dizzy and light headed. Discarding him where she knew he would be dry, she collapsed to her knees and gagged, dry retching up the little contents of her stomach.

Shakily, she got to her feet and looked around. There was little in the cave she could use to dry herself but she quickly shed her sopping jacket and laid it beside Lorne's, hoping it would dry quickly. She shivered, her exposed skin pimpling against the cold and she crossed her arms over her chest automatically, rubbing her chest in an effort to stop the shivers.

After a few minutes, she gave up and, with a quick glance back at Lorne, moved to the pack she had found near the river. It was a standard Atlantis pack and she hoped that it was Lorne's; that they were the only two washed away when the storm hit. As she opened the pack, her blue fingers shook and she bit back the sobs the coldness tried to draw from her throat.

She turned the pack upside down and the contents spilled to the floor, clattering and clanging as they went. Silver packets littered the floor at her knees and she raised her eyebrows, glancing back at Lorne's unconscious form before reaching for his cup of water and emptying one of the sachets into it.

Why hadn't her team thought to pack extra water purifiers? She smiled and shook her head; the soldiers from Earth were prepared for everything and for a moment, she wondered if John had missed out on much of the survival techniques by being a pilot, rather than a "ground-pounder" like Major Lorne and many of the other members of the military.

The thought was fleeting and vague, easily brushed aside by her rationale; was it not John Sheppard who had saved Atlantis on numerous occasions?

She returned to her inventory and smiled, letting out a small laugh of glee at the sight of the radio, undamaged. She flipped the switch and she let out a small grunt of disgust when it remained stubbornly off. She set it aside, near the jackets and continued. She shook out a small, damp blanket, smiling once again as she cast a glance back to Lorne. His breathing had become laboured and raspy and she could see perspiration on his forehead. She searched for the medical kit and pulled it out, carrying it over to Lorne's side and knelt down by his waist.

"Evan, can you hear me?"

He moaned in response and she frowned in concern. She touched his forehead with her icy fingers and found it damp and clammy, his eyelids fluttering in discontent. She rested her hand on his shoulder as she rummaged through the kit, pulling out the vial of antibiotics and a syringe, piercing his skin with the metal pin. He flinched at the contact and Teyla tried to soothe him with her voice. Though much of the kit was damp, she pulled out a cloth and soaked it with rainwater, returning to Lorne to cover his forehead. She quickly – but thoroughly - cleaned the wound on his abdomen, noting how he didn't respond to her touch.

"Teyla..." she heard him rasp as she secured a clean bandage over his wound and she looked up to his grey eyes.

"I am here, Evan," she said as she levelled her face with his, cradling his clammy face in her hands. She stroked the hollow of his cheek with her fingers, smiling down at him as he blinked up at her, his eyes bleary.

"Good..." he coughed slightly but there was no blood on his lips and Teyla was thankful. "That's good..." His eyes drifted closed and his breathing evened slightly. As he murmured her name again in the realm of slumber, Teyla rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes.

Things were so strange.

The stars twinkled fondly above her on the inky dark sky as she watched them, letting their spectre lull her into tranquillity.

Her earlier concern for Kanaan and his search party had long since passed into quiet anger at her friend. She wondered if he had gathered a search party, if he had attempted to look for Lorne but she knew that he must have – he had not been in the camp when she had woken later that day. Neither had Halling nor Beleya, nor any of the other usual search party members.

Fatigue had eased her anger into diaphanous concern, thoughts too tumultuous being banished from her head by exhaustion. She rested her aching head on the cool cave wall beside her and let her eyes wander over the dark land below. Little moved in the quiet stillness, the faint rustle of the trees in the wind soothing her soul, the almost rhythmic breathing of Lorne behind her allowing her to rest for a moment.

The others would find them, she was sure.

She had switched the batteries from one radio to the other and the undamaged once had sputtered to life for a few moments before breaking out again. Lorne had woken long enough to tell her that they just needed to dry out before he'd slipped into unconsciousness again. She had managed to kindle a small fire using the foil wrapped firelighters in Lorne's pack and the meagre amount of dried wood she'd found in the corners of the cave. It wasn't much but it was enough to emit enough light and heat for her to care for Lorne's wounds. It had also helped to dry out the damp blanket which she had quickly wrapped around Lorne and taken his jacket for herself.

"Teyla?" She turned at sound of her name called quietly from inside the cave. She shivered then as a gust of wind blew through the protective barrier of her jacket and she crawled back into the cave. "S'cold," he murmured again and Teyla pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. He was still damp and clammy but she could see his body shivering under the blanket.

She debated for a moment, glancing back to the cave entrance and fiddling with the side arm holstered on her leg. She glanced back to Lorne and saw his lips quivering and her decision was made.

Shedding his jacket, she laid it out over the top of his body and slid under the blanket beside him, bringing her own slightly damp jacket over the top of them. She shuffled closer to his side, stilling when he groaned at contact. She looked up to his eyes, questioning but he shook his head and brushed her hip with his fingers, urging her closer.

As she pressed herself against his side and slid an arm across his waist, carefully avoiding his injured abdomen, she shivered.

She wasn't entirely sure it was from the cold.

She felt him shuffling beneath her hand as she rubbed his chest then she felt his hand on her back, tucking the blanket closer around her neck before settling against her rib cage. The contact was soft and should have been uncomfortable in its intimacy but Teyla could find no strength to protest against it.

"Find anything interesting out on your walks?" He asked eventually, his voice strained but Teyla made no move to look to his face. She had to believe he would tell her if he was in pain.

"There is a village," she said quietly, staring at her hand on his chest. "Some Athosians are there – I believe they have become trading partners with the people here."

Lorne shuffled slightly and Teyla moved with him, shifting above him to give him more space.

"I thought there were no life signs here?" Teyla shrugged along with him some moments later.

"They are quite far from the Stargate; perhaps the sensors merely did not pick them up." She paused. "It has happened before, especially with a valley such as this."

"Would your people travel that far to trade with someone though?"

Teyla shrugged and glanced up to his downturned face, her hand resuming its gentle circles.

"It would depend on what these people were trading."

She could feel his nod of acceptance and she relaxed back into his embrace, feeling the warmth finally seep into her bones. The ache in her head receded as Lorne gently massaged the muscles at the nape of her neck. Minutes ticked by in silence, the quiet only interrupted by one or the others' yawn, or Lorne's hacking coughs.

"How did you find them?" She opened her eyes and glanced up to him languorously. "The camp – the Athosians."

She nodded and smiled slightly, debating whether or not to tell him. He did not need to worry about her when his own health was so dire.

"Teyla?"

She sighed and looked up to him, seeing the concern in his eyes and she melted.

"They found me in the forest. I woke up in one of their tents."

"You woke up?"

She nodded.

"It would seem I passed out."

"Teyla!" He protested loudly, grunting in pain as he tried to sit up before collapsing onto his back. She sat up from him. "Oww." Teyla watched his face contort in pain and she reached out for the medical kit at Lorne's shoulder but he held her arm, stopping her movement. "I'll be okay." He shifted again and Teyla could tell he was trying to hold back his groan of pain and she smiled internally at that. The men of Earth were insanely proud – and Teyla was more than proud of them. She did not know how some of the men of her people – of the people of Pegasus – would survive if they were trapped in another galaxy, cut off from home. It made her admire the Earthlings even more. "So tell me, were you going to tell me about passing out?"

She thought about lying but instead, she shook her head and shifted back against his body. His shivers had stopped and she felt her own temperature slowly rise at their close contact.

"I had thought I was on Athos."

She felt Lorne nod.

"Why did you think you were on Athos?" He asked some time later when her eyes had began to droop with sleep. She blinked the bleariness away and sighed.

"Kanaan was there."

She felt him nod again and she was sure she felt his breathing hitch for a moment. In response, she rubbed her hand gently over his chest in an attempt to soothe.

"So you and Kanaan..." He left the question hanging and Teyla leaned up on an elbow, letting the smile curl the edges of her lips. She watched as Lorne glanced away from her face, past her shoulder and she narrowed her eyes.

"Are friends."

He looked back to her, surprised but he quickly smiled and nodded, glancing away from her again as his smile changed.

"Cause I always thought you and Sheppard..."

At this, Teyla quirked an eyebrow and her lips creased together as she stared down at him. She was sure the edges of his ears turned pink at her gaze.

"As have many."

His eyes shifted to meet hers and she could not read the emotions that were flitting through the grey slits.

"So you're not?"

Teyla shifted again, sitting up to her knees as she stared down at him, assessing.

"Would it make any difference if we were?"

Lorne shrugged and looked away and Teyla felt a small ping in her chest.

"I just like to know the boundaries."

"Boundaries?"

He nodded and Teyla raised an eyebrow again, attempting to keep her amusement at his flustered face to a minimum.

"Yeah, you know... in case I say something out of line."

"Whether Colonel Sheppard and I are involved does not mean I cannot hold my own boundaries."

Lorne skimmed his eyes across hers and she could see the small smile tugging at his lips as his eyes flittered across her body and he reached his hand out to brush the back of his fingers across her thigh. She shivered slightly at the contact, hoping he did not see her reaction.

"I've always wanted to paint you." Teyla smiled at that and felt her cheeks tingle under his intense gaze. "Would he mind if I did that?"

Teyla was silent as she lay back down beside him, shifting so her mouth was close to his ear.

"I do not think that would cross any boundaries."

His light laughter rumbled through his chest and Teyla let herself join him.

"That's good. When we get back to Atlantis then..."

She nodded and smiled, tucking herself back into his chest.

"At daybreak, I will go back to the camp and bring a rescue team to you."

"I thought you were a rescue team?"

She laughed lightly around her yawn and relaxed more against Lorne when his hand rose to the nape of her neck, his fingers moving in light circles at her hairline. She sighed and let sleep take her into its abyss, smiling despite their situation.

Gasping, Teyla sprang from the bed her mind a blur of visions and smells and sounds. Charged metal and smoky wood mingled in a strange cacophony; splashes and buzzing clashed in confusing illusions; Lorne's pained voice and cheerful calls lingered in the putrefied stenches of her subconscious.

The room, like the other, was not her own. Brown canvas met her eyes instead of rusty red. Grass underfoot instead of woven stems tickled her toes. The air, though warm, held no comfort. The sounds, though recalling memory, were not of Athos.

Her knees buckled beneath her and she crumpled to the ground, gripping her head as pain lanced her skull. Aching and consuming, she let out a cry of pain and a few tears escaped her lids as she clenched them, wishing to ward off the onslaught of pain.

A figure beside her gripped her hands and pulled them from her head. Unfamiliar eyes stared into hers; the lips moved but she did not hear the words past the screeching in her ears. Her body convulsed and she felt more hands on her skin – warm, like the room, but even less comforting.

"You have a fever," she heard them saying to her but she couldn't understand. Her skin felt cool and clammy, the pimples on her skin alerting her to how cold she really felt. She gasped for breath and twisted her hands from her captor and crawled across the floor to the edge of the bed. Outside, darkness gripped the camp and the cold air wafted into her, chilling her more. "You must let us help you."

"Lorne..." The word was a strangled whisper from her lips and when she looked up, the others were staring at her, shifting glanced between one another. She let out a small gasp. "Lorne is... is..."

The two exchanged glances and the older of the two women took a step towards her, crouching down to her level. Teyla flinched when she reached her hand out to stroke her matted hair but the older woman seemed un-phased.

"He is with the healers."

Teyla vaguely heard the other woman clear her throat lightly but when Teyla tried to meet her gaze, she kept her eyes downcast. Teyla let out a gasp of relief then and turned her eyes back to the older woman who smiled tentatively, her eyes hesitantly reassuring. She stroked Teyla's cheek with her thumb and Teyla returned the smile, letting the relief fully wash through her. She felt her body sag as the pain began to ease from her with each gentle ministration of the woman's fingers.

"How? Wh..."

The older woman smiled again and drew back onto her haunches. Teyla met the frown with one of her own and looked around the tent quickly, glancing over the two figures at the doorway, backs turned. She fought back the sudden surge of nausea and ducked her head into her hands, letting a single sob burst from her throat.

Relief, golden and overdue. She craved it, lapped it up and she felt more tears slip down her cheeks but she made no attempt to wipe them away. She had been strong; she could allow herself a moment of normalcy – a moment to show her humanity to these people who had helped her.

She felt a warm hand on her back and the gentle heat seeped into her muscles, calming her and she wondered whether the woman was disappointed in her. That thought, irrational though it was, jarred her – as though the woman's approval meant more than it should to her. When she looked up to the gray haired woman, for an instant she saw Charin reflecting in those grey eyes.

"You led us to him, remember?"

Teyla closed her eyes against the pain as she tried to think back; vague recollections of wandering through the woods with a team of hunters and Kanaan and Halling.

" _These people have tried to help you and you run away from them!"_

The empty cave where she had been sure she had left Lorne, the tumble down the hill at the thought of the scavengers that could have feasted on his bloody body. The unfaltering pain as her head impacted with rock after rock, as she scrabbled to grip onto something to stop her descent; of the men calling her name; of the women healing her wounds; of Lorne's quiet voice, dream like in its serenity.

Faint, misty like the paintings Evan had shown her; of the painting he promised to do of her.

She felt softness beneath her and strong arms around her; Charin – but not Charin – above her, the other helping to ease her back against the pillows. She felt coolness on her head, dampness and she closed her eyes as the pain behind her forehead eased slightly.

"Rest my child," the elder whispered, her voice soothing, almost lulling Teyla into a quiet sleep.

"And the Athosians?" She managed to ask as she felt darkness pull at her.

The women shared another glance, conspiratorial almost, before the elder smiled down at her and stroked her head once, twice before moving away.

"They are well."

With that, Teyla fell into slumber.


	2. Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Interlude 1_

_Interlude 1_

Lorne shifted uncomfortably, the rocks beneath him digging into his back. The sky had opened up again and the rain fell like a waterfall from the low hanging clouds and he'd been forced further back into the cave to escape the falling wall of water. He'd only managed to drag a few of the supplies to his side before the pain gripping his body pulled him into darkness.

When he'd awoken some time later, the cave was almost black and the rain still fell in sheets. And he had collapsed onto small rocks that were digging into his back. But the pain from the wound in his abdomen wouldn't allow him to move to a more comfortable position. His fingers found the wound, and came away bloodied. He grimaced and fell back against the wall, wishing he was warm enough to use his jacket as a pillow rather than a blanket.

Teyla had been gone for almost a day and, despite his best efforts, he was worried about her. He'd seen the blood that matted her hair to her temple when they'd finally hauled themselves out of the water; he'd seen the tumbles she had taken down the hill outside their cave; he'd seen her wince whenever she moved her head, or her body shifted. He knew she was in pain and he wasn't entirely sure all of her faculties were there.

He should have guessed something was wrong when she started talking about the Athosians. He knew fine well that the Athosians were back on New Athos and that Atlantis was keeping an eye on who they were trading with. And this planet wasn't one of them.

He sighed and shifted, groaning aloud when he felt something scrape along his back.

His throat was dry but the cup with water was at the mouth of the cave and he doubted he would be able to go to it. His head ached behind his eyes, at the base of his skull too and any movement was not conducive to keeping the meagre contents of his stomach down. He touched his side again, hissing as his fingers ghosted over the gaping wound; he knew he would need to clean and redress the wound or it wouldn't close or, even worse, get infected but his body ached at the _thought_ of movement.

"Shit," he hissed as he attempted to pull the pack towards him, his side abdomen feeling as though it was being torn apart. He gulped down litres of air, hoping to ease the pain. After a few painful minutes, he lunged again, managing to grasp the strap before his body refused to cooperate and he fell back onto his back, gasping and bleary eyed.

In a way, he was glad Teyla wasn't there if only so she didn't see him in such a state.

After awkwardly cleaning and redressing the wound, Lorne lay back and listened to the rain thundering down outside. He could hear it spatter against the trees, could imagine the leaves flapping with their weight. Every now and again a gust of wind would whip up and water would reach him at the back of the cave, drizzling his damp blanket and hair and face.

He hoped Teyla was okay. That she hadn't been swept away again like they had been.

He knew the others were coming for them, that no one got left behind but as the coldness seeped into his bones and chilled him from the inside out, it seemed as though help would never come.

He shifted again, reaching for the radio that had finally dried out and flicked it on. The only response to his calls was static air. He sighed and closed his eyes.

It wasn't long before he was asleep.


	3. Interlude Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Interlude Two_

_Interlude Two_

Teyla gasped awake, the dreams lingering in her mind. Consciousness waved them away but the uneasy feeling did not shift. She groaned as she turned onto her side, swiping a sticky hand across her slick forehead. Her fever had reached a crescendo and she felt as though she was burning alive, even though her body shivered as though cold.

She reached a hand up tentatively to the ache in her head and felt material, a strip of it wrapped around her head and she let out an involuntary sob of pain as her fingers prodded the sore spot. Her hand shuddered as she dropped it heavily back to her side.

"You have been asleep for many hours; morning is nearly upon us," Kanaan said quietly to her from his position in the seat at the side of her bed. She lifted her head up to him, noting that the sheets were noticeably less damp there than where her head had been. "How are you feeling?"

She closed her eyes and sighed, concentrating on the contrasting feelings coursing through her body. It was indescribable. Hot and cold, pained and light, aching and weak. Thirsty.

"Thirsty," she managed, her voice cracking on the first vowel and she tried to swallow but her throat was to dry. She coughed harshly, her throat stinging at the sensation.

"I will fetch you some water," he said and she nodded, smiling gratefully as she turned onto her back.

The night air outside the covers was cool, she discovered when she slowly sat up, letting the sheets fall from around her. The thin night dress she wore was soaked through, the curves of her body clearly visible beneath the cream linen but she didn't mind. In fact, she would not have minded shedding the gown completely and wandering around in nothing but her skin – she remembered Charin disrobing her when she had been younger, as her fevered body had leaked sweat like the clouds did rain.

She could hear the rain battering off the roof of her tent and she watched it, seeing the dimples where the heavier drops impacted and she felt mesmerised by it; the dim glow from the candles around her cast shadows across the room and ceiling and she could almost imagine that she was back in her room on Atlantis, safe and warm and home.

But she wasn't and Lorne was injured.

She sat up at that and looked back to the doorway, hoping to see Kanaan there with a cup of water. When she didn't, she frowned but slowly eased her legs from the bed. Shakily, she rose, fighting off the wave of dizziness that struck her. Unsteadily she moved to the doorway, leaning on the sparse furniture for support. Her legs felt new and unused, disconnected from the rest of her body as she moved in a zigzag across the room.

At the doorway, she leaned heavily against the wooden frame, gasping for breath as her heart hammered in her chest. New rivers of sweat clung to her upper lip and hairline, gliding happily down her back in an attempt to cool her over heated body. It was no use. She slid the flap back and looked out upon the empty camp. The people were obviously asleep and no one moved, not a rustle of movement except for the pitter patter of falling rain.

She looked back into the room and saw her Atlantis jacket hanging near the chair Kanaan had vacated. Taking a breath, she moved towards it, unbalancing more than once along the way.

Outside in the rain, she looked about the encampment, wondering which of the tents was the healers'. She moved between the rows, following the scent of _oscilli_ and wax, hoping to find the faintest glimmer of light from one of the rooms. She ducked her head into some of the larger tents along the way, finding the kitchens and wash rooms, some families sleeping before she eventually found the healers' tent near the edge of the forest.

Inside, there was only two candles lit and she lifted one to her, shivering slightly from dampness. The Atlantis jacket was soaked through to her gown, which was sticking to her now from the rain. Her feet were bare and muddy and wet and she knew it would do no good for her fever to be wet but she had to see Evan, to know that he was okay.

She moved to the two occupied beds at the back of the room and slid the covers from one. It was an elderly man – the oldest Teyla remembered seeing in Pegasus for many years – and he shivered when she slid the cover away from his face. She covered him once again and turned to the other bed, setting the candle on the small table. She perched on the edge of the bed, relieving her aching legs of her own weight, sighing with content as the world stopped tilting.

She turned the sheet down from his face and stood just as quickly as she had sat down. She stared down at the face, scratched and tanned and fair headed in confusion. The man there was not Evan Lorne. She turned, searching the room for any others occupants but there were none. She spun around, moving from bed to bed hoping that her eyes had deceived her but they were clean and empty and cold; no sign that anyone had slept in them at all.

She lifted a hand to her head as she continued to turn, as she moved to the bed where the man who was not Lorne lay and looked down at him. Perhaps the light was playing tricks on her? She moved closer to the face with the candle but it only showed her what she already knew – that this man was not Lorne.

These people had lied to her.

She spun on her heel quickly and took a step, impacting with a hard body. She pulled back slightly when the hands gripped her forearms, glaring at the woman who stood in front of her.

"You should not be out of bed, young one," she said quietly, gently as she tried to usher Teyla from the room.

Teyla shrugged from the woman's grip, tripping over her feet and stumbling to the edge of one of the beds. She pushed herself upright and looked back to the man in the bed, desperate.

"Where is Evan?" The woman frowned and Teyla felt heat at the back of her eyes. "Where is Major Lorne?" She half-shouted when the woman did not reply, both the women's confusion evident. "I was told he was here," Teyla said calmly after a long moment, though her heart still thundered in her chest.

"I told Methanwe not to lie to you," the woman said and Teyla was unsure if she was addressing herself or Teyla. "He was not brought here – we could not find anyone in the place you lead us to," the woman said quietly, her head downturned and Teyla felt her knees buckle beneath her. "You must come back to bed-"

"No!" Teyla said as she pushed herself up from the floor, away from the woman's grip. "You just left him out there?"

"There was no one there – you saw it with your own eyes."

And she had. She remembered the empty cave, the lack of evidence that anyone had been there. Had Evan even been there? She felt the sting at the back of her eyes as tears welled, felt the ache in her head intensify but she tried to concentrate, tried to fight through it. She felt herself tilt but she steadied herself, closing her eyes to ward off the nausea. She felt sick. Confused. Alone. Endangered.

And Evan. Where was he? Had he been killed? Rescued? Had he been there at all?

She didn't even know where she was.

She brushed past the young woman, almost knocking her to the ground as she sought fresh air. Sought coolness on her skin, calmness in her mind.

Ancestors help her; she had left him behind. Had _he_ left _her_ behind?

What of his team?

They'd have gone back to Atlantis, gotten Teyla's team. Rodney would figure it out.

But where were they?

She ran – around in circles, around the tents, her bare feet sinking into the ground slowing her down. She ran from the voice following her, telling her she needed to rest and that they'd send someone to look for him in the morning. But she'd heard that before. She ran – to the edge of the forest, pausing to glance at her feet, to glance back to the camp before she disappeared into the trees.

She ran until her feet were bloodied, until her eyes were clouded with falling tears. She ran, scratching her face on hanging branches, the rain bouncing off her back.

She had to get to Evan. She had to save him. He was ill – he was dying.

Her foot slipped on a mossy rock and she tumbled, her body rolling over itself into a bed at the base of a large tree. She let out a loud cry of pain, almost animalistic, gripping her ankle and head and side. She felt darkness creep into her mind but she knew she couldn't let it consume her. That she had somewhere else to be.

Her head lolled, despite her desire to continue. Her eyes drifted shut, despite knowing she didn't want them to.

As darkness consumed her, pulled her under, she was sure she heard John Sheppard calling after her. In her dreams, she felt his urgent touch on her skin, on her face, her arms, his strength surrounding her.

She knew she would be safe.


	4. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Part Two**

**Part Two**

"Get back into that bloody bed!"

Lorne grimaced at Carson's loud order, smiling sheepishly from his position next to Teyla's bed. He withdrew his hand from hers quickly and turned to Carson, wincing as he pulled at the stitches in his abdomen.

"I thought you said I could get out of bed within a couple of days?"

Carson towered over him, hands on hips, face glowering and Lorne did actually feel a little bad.

"Aye, a couple – not one and a half. And by out of bed, I meant in a wheel chair, accompanied by myself or one of the nurses."

Lorne grinned innocently up at Carson who seemed to not be very interested, nor bought over by the grin. He sighed and dropped his head.

"Help me back to bed then, doc," he said as he offered Carson his arm.

Carson simply glared back at him and crossed his arms.

"You got out of it by yourself, so you can get into it by yourself." Lorne laughed a little at that, wincing as it tugged at his stitches. He grimaced as he stood, leaning heavily on the side of Teyla's bed to balance himself. He heard Carson sigh behind him before the doctor's deceptively strong hands touched his back, helping him back to his bed. Lorne appreciated the gesture. "You should listen to what the doctors tell you." Lorne smirked through the pain – he hadn't realised how stiff he'd get sitting down. "You military are all the same."

Lorne smiled up at Carson, his eyes sliding past him to the corner where Teyla lay unconscious.

"Why hasn't she woken up yet?" He asked quietly, ducking his head to look at the cuts along his fingers.

He heard Carson sigh, felt the bed shift as Carson leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest as he too glanced down to Teyla's bed.

"We're keeping her sedated to give her body a chance to heal." He looked back to Carson and frowned. "You were both altered when you came in; your fever broke the first night but Teyla's lasted for a few days," he trailed off as he cast a glance back down to her before shaking his head. Lorne did the same. "She was asking for Kanaan and Charin."

Lorne winced and frowned. He knew Charin was dead, wondered where Kanaan was.

Then he felt the guilt that had been nagging at him since he woke up and saw her unconscious body lying in the back of the Jumper, her head cradled in Sheppard's lap as Rodney flew them home.

"She seemed fine," he said to Carson quietly, the guilt evident in his tone. He fiddled with the edge of the sheet, shifting uncomfortably in the bed. He felt Carson's hand lightly on his shoulder and he turned to the Scot, shaking his head. "She seemed fine," he repeated for lack of anything else to say. He heaved a sigh and leaned back against the soft pillows, nestling his head into their warm comfort.

"You're both very lucky," Carson said quietly a few moments later and Lorne peeled his eyes open again and peered at him. "If Colonel Sheppard hadn't found you..." He trailed off but didn't say anything else.

Lorne smiled and grunted slightly.

"I'm tired of him saving the day."

Carson grinned and let out an airy laugh, patting Lorne's leg as he made to move away.

"Aye but if he didn't, you'd still be stuck out there doing a shoddy job of patching yourself up."

Lorne smiled sarcastically as Carson smirked, winked and walked away. He settled back into the pillows again, pulling the covers up around his chest. He cracked an eye open and looked back towards Teyla, smiling slightly as he watched her chest rise and fall with her steady breathing.

As he felt sleep creep over him, he was glad he'd left the radio on.

When Lorne was discharged from the infirmary, he found that instead of going back to his quarters and resting up, catching up on his TV programs or reading his book like he'd promised himself he would do, he stayed in the infirmary at Teyla's bedside, waiting for her to wake up. Around him, her team waited with him, Sheppard shifting back and forth on his feet, picking up various instruments around the room before setting them back and continuing to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. He was making Lorne nervous.

"Would you stop?"

Lorne smirked as Sheppard glared at Rodney who had very articulately voiced Lorne's thoughts.

"Shut up," Sheppard replied half heartedly, throwing himself into the seat next to Lorne. The two service men shared a tight smile before Sheppard's eyes slid back to the monitors around Teyla's bed. "How are you doing?" Sheppard asked after a moment, his eyes sliding back to Lorne. Lorne shrugged and shifted, stretching his stiff back.

"Good," he said as though the gaping wound in his abdomen was nothing but a mere scratch. Sheppard nodded once and folded his arms over his chest, sliding further down in his chair, legs wide apart. Lorne shifted again.

Suddenly, it was awkward.

"I can't believe the villagers were going to leave you out there," McKay said indignantly, as though it was him who had experienced it. Lorne shrugged again but smiled, feeling some of the tension between him and Sheppard slipping away. "You're lucky you survived."

Lorne snorted and rolled his eyes.

"So the doc tells me." He shifted, grimacing again at the ache in his back. He'd been still for too long; his body wasn't used to this much immobility. "Besides – they knew she was hallucinating, so it stood to reason that they thought she was hallucinating me as well."

"I wouldn't be so forgiving," McKay huffed and the three others rolled their eyes.

"Kanaan's comin' over," Ronon said gruffly from the opposite side of the bed, his head not rising when he spoke. Lorne felt the tension seeping from Sheppard; he knew the two men didn't get on – hadn't since Kanaan had knocked Sheppard on his ass at sparring. "Insists that there was a reason she was hallucinating him."

"Yeah because the fact she hallucinated him and a _dead woman_ is very symbolic," Rodney voiced and from the jerk of Sheppard's head as he let out an inaudible laugh, Lorne imagined Sheppard agreed.

Lorne couldn't help but feel that her team didn't like Kanaan.

He had no doubts as to the reason why.

The chatter continued for another half hour before Teyla finally began to waken. Sheppard and Ronon were the first to her side, while Lorne rose slowly from his chair holding back. Ronon touched her arm and she turned her head to him, frowning before she closed her eyes and smiled.

"Ronon," she said quietly, swallowing thickly before turning her head to her right hand side where Sheppard stood, his hand hovering over hers, his smile almost evanescent on his lips. "John," she said with a smile before her eyes slid shut again.

"How are you feeling?" Sheppard asked as he signalled Rodney to fetch Carson.

She paused for a moment as though considering and Lorne took the opportunity to step closer to her bed. He didn't want to intrude but he also wanted to make his presence known.

"Sore." She opened her eyes again and stared at Lorne, her face impassive for a moment before a relieved smile broke across her lips. "I am glad to see you alive."

Lorne quirked a grin in her direction and took another step closer. He let his hand rest near her thigh and smiled down at her.

"It's good to be alive." She smiled and met his eyes and for a moment they simply stared. He moved back when Carson slid in beside him and Teyla's eyes slid to the Scot. He looked down, feeling ridiculously disheartened. He heaved a sigh and shifted back away from the bed. "I should go."

Carson, Teyla and Ronon turned to him startled while Sheppard simply nodded.

"In fact," Carson said sternly, looking around the bed to the men, "you all should go – I'll need some time to run some tests." Sheppard grumbled but Carson interrupted him before he managed to say anything. "Bring me a coffee when you come back."

"And some Jell-O for me," Teyla said lightly, smiling around her obvious fatigue.

Lorne could see the resignation on Sheppard's face, the deflation of his shoulders and internally he smiled. It was bad but the more he observed, the more interested he became. Because he _was_ interested.

"Evan?" Teyla called out to him as they made their way out of the infirmary and he stopped, glancing to Ronon's upturned eyebrow before turning back to her. When she beckoned him, he hobbled over to her, leaning against her bed. "I do not know all of what was real and what was not but... I am sorry."

"For what?" He asked incredulously, but kept his voice low, his head dipping down slightly.

"You could have died."

He waved his hand dismissively.

"From what the doc tells me," he said as he cast a glance to Carson, who was reading conspicuously from a chart, "it wasn't me that could have died."

Teyla watched him for a moment before nodding, and Lorne smiled down at her matching her nod with one of his own.

"Nevertheless..." Lorne winked at her and turned away. "Thank you."

He paused for a moment, pivoted on his heel and nudged her hand with his fingers.

"Despite what you may come to believe, not all of it was in your head."

He stared meaningfully at her as she stared at him in confusion. Then, to his relief, her vision cleared and a slight flush rose to her cheeks. He could feel Carson's confusion, though the doctor didn't look up from the chart. He waited for another moment before smiling, nudging her hand again and stepping back.

As he walked out of the infirmary, he could feel the weight of five stares follow him through the doors and up the corridor.

Maybe he'd get to paint her after all.

When he'd heard she was sparring in the gym, his first thought was that she was crazy. But as he approached the secondary gym, he heard the faint sound of bantos rods clacking and he knew that she was in there with Sheppard or Ronon –both men who would go easy on her, despite her protestations.

He hadn't seen her since she had been discharged from her two week stay in the infirmary a week and a half ago. He'd tried to give her space – half hoping that she would come to him. Then he'd been called back to Earth for a meeting with Sheppard, O'Neill and the Joint Chiefs about command in Atlantis and he'd obviously missed the chance to make sure she was okay.

He had also kind of missed her.

And it seemed he wasn't the only one.

He stopped just inside the doorway and watched them, the ease of their movements – though Teyla's were evidently stiffer than usual – and the way that Sheppard went easy on her. When his banto made contact with her skin she stepped back from him, flicking her hair over her shoulder before stubbornly taking her place in front of him again.

"Maybe we should take a break," Sheppard said to her but she shook her head, swiping at the beads of sweat on her forehead. The room was warm, the Sun having shone in it for the best part of the day and he could feel sweat prickle across his neck.

"I am fine."

"Teyla..."

"Evan!"

Lorne smiled sheepishly and stepped into the room when she smiled in his direction. He nodded to Sheppard who smiled and returned the nod. The two had kind of... _bonded_ on Earth; come to an understanding without ever saying anything. It was weird but it was there.

"I came down here to drag you out but it seems you're in good hands."

She sighed exasperatedly and turned back to Sheppard, her eyes accusing.

"I can take care of myself," she said hotly and Sheppard and Lorne shared a knowing smirk, which seemed only to infuriate her more.

"I'm sure you can," Lorne said as he moved further into the sunlit room, glancing questioningly to Sheppard who simply smiled and turned away, swigging from a bottle of water. "We just want to make sure you don't overdo it, that's all." She turned to him and he took an involuntary step back at the fire he saw in her eyes. "You could have _died_ , Teyla," he reiterated, his hand finding its way to her forearm. She looked down at it but didn't move away. "We just want you to survive the recover as well."

She looked back up to him then, the fire in her eyes dwindled – thought not diminished – and he smiled down at her.

"Thank you," she said quietly and stepped back from him, her gaze drifting past his shoulder, her eyes softening when she met whatever she was seeking. His shoulders sagged slightly but he smiled despite himself.

The whole team was close, he couldn't have hoped to breach those barriers.

"Anyway, I better go," he said as he glanced back to Sheppard who nodded slightly, his eyes flicking back to Teyla in a look that Lorne didn't care to distinguish.

He sighed and shook his head slightly, pursing his lips as he walked away.

"Lorne?" Sheppard called after him and he looked back at him over his shoulder, a shard of light piercing his eyes, momentarily blinding him.

He saw another indecipherable look between them and he frowned, turning his body back towards them.

"You can join us – if you wish," Teyla said, the look in her eyes heated.

As Lorne glanced between them – saw the way they were mirroring each other's stances with hands on hips, heads tilted in question – he got the feeling they didn't just mean in sparring. He glanced between them, saw Teyla's chest rise and fall, watched as the vein on Sheppard's neck pulsed quickly and he licked his lips.

Stepping back into the gym, he nodded and smiled.

"Okay."

He was glad he'd survived – even if only for this.


End file.
